Web Toon Review: Hitler's Magical Moustache

Around two weeks ago Awhile back I was sent my first email request regarding a piece of animation to review. As astonishing as it was to learn someone actually cares about what I horribly write on this site,what's more important is I seize the opportunity by doing what I was requested to do. So Sound Garden, you got your wish. Today I'm taking a look at my two favorite things: Hitler and Magic facial hair. What could possibly go wrong?

Adolf Hitler: Funny, charismatic, artistic, wonderful, humanitarian, vegetarian, optimistic, just an all around swell guy. But the master of a magical mustache? 

Storm Gardens animations sure seem to think he has one, seeing as their latest project Hitler's Magical Mustache came out recently and in their email claimed it to be "a comedy/fantasy animation that is similar humor to southpark [sic], regular show and the simpsons." 

As it would turn out, they weren't lying. HMM is in fact similar to all those shows listed. Unfortunately, it's not in the way you'd initially think. So for the sake of this article, let's look at what you'd be hoping to be compared to in those shows and how it actually is here.

"My greatest dream is a world without jews." - Lauren Faust <3

If you'd want an animation to be positively compared to South Park, you'd expect it to  be smart, witty, and have a good edge to its comedy while never being afraid to tackle more genuine or lighter subjects. An animation would want to be like South Park in it's believable dialogue and sharp, consistent writing. Now while HMM tackles an insane and offensive topic like South Park always does, its similarity is more similar in the way South Park was originally poorly designed and animated, which isn't good, especially since South Park did that on purpose.

In fact, it's somehow below the dirty animating from the earlier seasons of South Park, looking cheaper than what ever the Candians are animating these days, and trust me that's not a good thing at all. However I can look past bad animation from online projects, after all you have to sympathize with a lack of a team or a budget. So long as the other aspects are good, it can be overlooked.

TIME TO TAKE YOUR OTHER BALL, ADOLF

If you'd want an animation to be positively compared to Regular Show, you'd want to find similarities and great visuals, a great handle on pop culture, creative cameos, and great settings. An animation would want the same bat-shit craziness and humor. This animation is insane on many levels, but not written quite as well at all. While HMM at least doesn't have terribly written and forced relationship scenarios like Regular Show, it has bland characters who could use a well written set-up. In fact, maybe the whole thing would have been better.

Could I be cool with a fucking bizarre anthropomorphic cat-banana wielding scissors kidnapping Hitler and shaving his mustache, which all turns out to be orchestrated by Anne Frank so she can put the mustache hair in her diary, have the banana cat pants the guards, and fly off in to the night to her attic? Of course I could, I do drugs. However you have to make it work, and here it just doesn't. It starts off with Hitler being pissed at not finding Anne Frank and then BOOM, cat-banana. Poorly drawn cat-banana. Which I'll admit his entrance was so bizarre it got a shock laugh out of me, but besides that nothing works here due to the lack of any set up.

Anne always did enjoy hairy situations

If you'd want an animation to be positively compared to The Simpsons, the characters should be incredibly likable and realistic, but filled with wit and sarcasm. An animation would want the same great environment, cast, writing, and even designs that are simple but not crude. HMM unfortunately does not have the sort of budget, crew, or time behind it to come close, becoming what is assumed to be an acid-fueled Flash project.

If you wan to see what three shows this most resembles, check out memorable shows such as Angela Anaconda, The Three Friends and Jerry, and Kappa Mikey. To be fair, I think HMM is better than any of those titles, but the production cost, themes, and general style seem right on par with them. Ugly designs, inappropriate themes, and lacking animation match up respectively.

me, currently

So does this mean that mean I want the Storm Gardens crew to jump off a cliff in the same way I want Teletoon Canada to? Of course not.

Look Storm Gardens, you're a young animation 'company'. You're around the level where people like OneyNG and Stamper were when they were first starting out on Newgrounds. It's important to remember the one fact every person producing content needs to know, and that's that your first projects are going to suck. Badly. This goes for drawings, films, stories, or really any entertainment medium. Do not be discouraged by your suckiness, revel in it and learn from it. So don't take these harsh words too personal, but be angered by them anyways. Call me a cunt and continue making your art. Your very, very confusing art.

FINAL SCORE: 3/10

(But keep trying, Storm Gardens)